home again

Looking out the airplane window, i do not see mountains. A vast flat land covered mostly by swamp. The rich come here to die and the locals love this place because it is home. I already long for the shores in the mid-pacific but my sights lye elsewhere. It's back to work for me and i must be focused and determined. There is much to do, much to live for, and many places to go. Friendships I made in Hawaii will last forever and my dreams will be filled with the times we spent together.

It seems that it takes two to tango, and I don't know why we keep stepping on each others toes. I know what i want and where i want to be. Why does it seem you don't want to hold hands with me? We could be together if you only let go. Search your soul and mind to see there is nothing to be scared of except the fear of failure at whatever be at hand. Seemingly, you don't see eye to eye with me any longer, but this is why we can't still be together? I want to understand but my heart has let go of all worry and i will only allow what may come to be or pass with the wind. Today, i dance alone. This world is mine. Tomorrow has yet to come, when it does, I will move forward, I will not dwell. No, no longer will I dwell. Never again. If history is doomed to repeat itself, so be it, I will embrace every minute, hour, day, week, year with you again. I will worry not the time or day we go our separate ways. Be not afraid.

Best explains me.

Coming Through the Rye
by Robert Burns
(1759-1796)

Coming thro' the rye, poor body,
Coming thro' the rye,
She draiglet a' her petticoatie
Coming thro' the rye.

O, Jenny's a' wat, poor body;
Jenny's seldom dry;
She draiglet a' her petticoatie
Coming thro' the rye.

Gin a body meet a body
Coming thro' the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body -
Need a body cry?

Gin a body meet a body
Coming thro' the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body -
Need the warld ken?

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."

~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 22, spoken by the character Holden Caulfield

2 new alligator arms songs

the world will end with you and i

the world will flood from sea to sea
the water come to bury me
i came to watch the morning die
the world will end with you and i
breathing in, i open my eyes
the sun baths my room in yellow and gold
breath in, open your eyes
a voices whisper floats to my ears
today was just like any other day

i have searched
far and wide
to find a place to call mine
i have found
there's no such place

coming back to where i began
a body lay cold, emotionless
i once knew a person who filled this void

So many years i neglected my blood in need
i left you to die cold and alone
forgive me brother for i have sinned
i left you to die
forgive me brother

FORSAKEN

HURRY, pack the car
let's run away, never get tired
surrounded by, concrete walls
we will sleep, under the stars
under the stars

free from a lifetime of your restraint
the words you said
the things you never did

surrounded by, concrete walls
we will sleep, under the stars
under the stars

my tongue is sharp
and you'll hear everything you shut your eyes to
you took everything i had away from me
never gave me the love i needed
comfort was a roof over my head

you can keep what you worked for
cause you kept everything i needed locked up
place and displace your blame
and i will never forgive you
i will never forgive you

and you'll die alone in your accomplishment
and i will bask in your failure

overcoming your neglect came easy
but with a hard price and cost

and i hope you know deep down
who plunged the needles into innocent skin

and now you've forsaken me
everything I've done for you

Listen to the songs here -----> ALLIGATOR ARMS

bet you that...

I can climb a mountain and miss the last bus back to town and have to hitch hike in the dark. Made it. Hiked. Watched the sun set on top of a mountain. Amazing, yet simple day.

life's a beach

First off, my day started by bombing down a hill on my bike to meet up with James and Kannin. My new friends here are so amazing. I had a blast today in the sun doing flips off rocks into the beautiful waters of south shore. Stole food from two different organic markets and ate like a king. Rode the china town skatepark at night and hung out with Joey, Jasmine, and Rob (Who ended up being from Boca Raton). Small fucking world as usual. hah. Comin' close to going home and i am really going to miss this lava rock in the pacific. But i will be seeing rob in a week and Jasmine is going to train hop over to florida to hang out in a month. So, my new ohana will be visiting. Still have a few more adventures up my sleeve for my last couple days!

Curtains

the show is over
please exit through the side door
go home
the crew has to come
to clean the theater for tomorrows' viewing
the managment has pulled an old favorite from the vaults
it will not be the same one that was shown on this night
you can stay
but you can't stay here
some movies are classics
you never stop loving them
and i'll keep buying my ticket
buttering my pop corn
as long as the film keeps spinning

Past few days

Been enjoying the company of new friends in hawaii. Meeting new people and bonding friendships when you travel is so enriching. I learn more from new people i meet than I ever did in books or school. Body surfing at Sandies is SO fucking fun! Spent hours there using my new friends as booking boards on the shore break. Sure shot cafe rules. The skateparks in honolulu rule. New alligator arms songs are recorded. www.myspace.com/ihavealligatorarms . I leave way too soon, i want to stay and have fun with all my new friends. Breaks my heart but i am going home to many great new things including lots of screen printing, bike polo, track riding, alley cats, touring with bands, getting tattooed, traveling, train hopping, and anything else i want to do. This is my year! I will make it extraordinary. And i might be going flying on monday over hawaii! YES! <3 Mucho Pictures to be posted of my trip once it is complete.

Hiking, waterfalls, cliff diving, vegan dinner, new friends

Today, Joey and i started our day and Kono's and got some bomb veggie breakfast burritos. We then headed toward kailua where we met up with James and Christina and their beautiful husky( vegan edge )James had a sick edge chest peice, cannin (EDGE) also sick edge chest peice, Kyle and his entourage of ladies. I am so syked on the multi edge chest piece hike. Makes me so happy to be alive. We hiked up through Maunawili park to this sick waterfall with like 4 different places to jump off rocks into the water. I proceeded to jump from all these places. It was too fun. We hiked back and headed to james and christina's where we swam and had vegan pasta dinner and cookies. SOOO GOOD. We told jokes all night where i proceeded to have a laughing fit for 20 minutes as kyle started reading off chuck norris jokes. THen the stupid cat tried to eat the fish and pushed the bowl off the counter and broke glass everywhere. Which sucked. Good times. As much as i love it here, i'm looking forward to what awaits when i get home. So much life to live. So many exciting new experiences and opportunities. Head first.

too much sugar

I never thought i would say it, but i have over dosed on sugar tonight. The 10 smor's i ate was TOO much. Under the beautiful starlit sky of north shore. I sat around a fire with complete strangers and shared the celebration of their friends birth. We had many laughs and it really was and always is so heart warming to just jump into a group of friends and immediately be accepted. Something that sometimes seems to be hard to find.

There are many thing's i would like to write about right now. I prefer to keep my personal business out the public view. For you to put something like that out there for all to see is just plain and simple disregard for privacy.

Anything I need to say will be said.

hawaii rules and i'm making lot's of new friends, i'm going on a vegan straight edge hike tomorrow which will include cliff diving and waterfalls and swimming. Details to come.

Fuck what anyone says. Don't let anyone tell you different or stop you from sneaking out to go to a show. Punk and hardcore music has shaped and made my life what it is today and i couldn't be happier. New friends, new horizons, new experiences. So, anyone who says hardcore is a trend/phase/just music/kid shit/whatever. No, it's a lifestyle and it will open doors that you never dreamed would even be there.

best bags ever

http://burrobags.blogspot.com/

The best blog i have found lately...

http://itsachugknocklife.blogspot.com/

Love. I have found my answers.

"You always wanna play that Xbox or Wii... but find yourself compelled to that sega genesis."
-Michael Cortada

Bike, Food, Beach, Book, Scream, Here goes everything...

Today, just as any other day, started with me waking up. I took a bike ride into town and got some supplies and ate at a sweet little breakfast/lunch place called Kono's. Then i walked on the beach and found a nice tree to sit under and read my current book RANT. I read for about 4 hours and then i got a flat so joey picked me up and we went back to his house and got to recording. So tonight, I sent off a package that can possibly change the course of my life. This has been a dream of mine since I knew what hardcore was. I never thought it to e possible but the opportunity was presented to me and i rose to the occasion. Now i wait. My destiny now up for judgement against few others.

"Certain words must be screamed rather than sung or spoken

i am alive and vigorous..."

This hold's so true today

Our possibilities are endless.
When the dedication and love of you and I come together, anything can be created.
We are not the ego driven some might see.
People yearn for the journeys we take together, but we excel.
We steal our wood, we sweat as we nail together our future.
We finish our boat with the perfect name we laughed for hours about.
We sew together our sail and we set out on that journey with no maps or boundaries.
These creations are limitless and perfect, because they are ours.
"We have nothing, but we have everything."

Planes, books, waves, hardcore, dancing!

I never really thought that i would have one of these. I didn't really see the point in putting yourself on display over the internet. So many people do it so willing and with such anticipation of being famous one day or getting some sort of emotional boost. Getting the comfort of text from people they don't even know telling them how they understand what they are going through. Currently, I am residing on the floor of my friends bedroom in Wailua, on the island of oahu in the chain of islands named hawaii. It is a very small rural town outside the historic town of Haleiwa. It's beautiful beaches and legendary surf bring people from all around the world to this small town in the middle of the pacific ocean. Everyday i wake up, i know where i am. I am happy just to be, to know that outside the sun is shining on crystal clear water. The waves turning white at the peaks and crashing on white sandy beaches. Surfers wax their boards preparing to test themselves again mother natures forces. The swell is forecasted to be 20-30 feet this week. This has been a dream of mine since the day i saw those pictures in magazines of big waves surfers battling those giants and succeeding with such grace. My friend Joey has been so awesome to hang out with and i am so glad i met him and went to his show last year when i was in hawaii last. Staying at his house is such an awesome experience, that his family is so open to allow me to be a part of their family for a short time. We eat breakfast and dinner together, go surfing together, and just hang out and talk. I've ben going to Joey's shows and dancing with the locals and getting hugs and hand shakes from total strangers because hardcore music bonds us together. Joey's dad and i shared waves at local spots because we are bonded through the love of surfing. I've also been reading a lot on this trip and it has definitely got me thinking. I first read the New Chuck Palahniuk book, Snuff. This was quite the read going into every gruesome detail of the life and demise of porn star Cassie Wright in her quest to break the world record for the largest gang bang by fucking 600 dudes. It is told from the point of view of "actor's" 72, 137, 600 and Sheila(the talent wrangler and the person responsible for staging this event). The Alchemist was a mcuh different read with my life lessons and wisdom to be taught, very unlike my first choice of literary entertainment. In this story, santiago, a young shepherd boy, has a dream that reveals a hidden treasure that is located near the pyramids of egypt. He decides to risk it all and actualize this dream. Along the way, he encounters a king who tell shim that this quest is his Personal Legend, and that he must follow the omens that life presents him and see his dream to the end. This story taught me a lot about life and more importantly about specific details in my life. I highly recomend this book because it's a great story, quick read, and can teach you many lessons. So, in conclusion to this post, I have started this online journal to report my journey to find out what my personal legend is, and to follow that until i have succeeded. Through so many different events I am here right now. By so many more events and experiences i shall live out my destiny.

It's raining and the sweet smell of the country and ocean fill the room.

Starting this up

I am a ghost. I used to dwell here. I left without a trace. Because I exist, you know who I am. Therefore, I am real and I have a story. But only those who listen will hear what I have to say. It is only those who look, who will they see my existence.

I am a ghost. You once knew me. I have taken a part of you as I left a piece of me. I will carry with me your story. Carry with you mine and share with others. Tell of the brief moment we shared and how fast it was gone. With the wind I vanish, a new destination undetermined.

I am a ghost. Think nothing of me.